Recently I went through a friendship breakup. In this new transition, I’ve thought about the characteristics I look for in a friendship or any relationship.

1) Respect

Respect for me is the first characteristic you should look for in a friend. A friend should respect you and not belittle you. Your priorities, interests and life goals may change and a friend should be there for you. This is where respect comes into play as well. If you do change, a friend should respect your changes, even if they don’t agree with what those changes are.

2) Commonality

Having something in common is what makes a friend a friend. You may have the same hobbies, watch the same movies or live in the same area. The commonality is a connecting point in a friendship. 

3) Beliefs

I think having the same beliefs as a friend is important. Of course everything won’t be the same because you are different people. If you have the same beliefs as a friend, you can engage in deeper conversations. As a Christian, God has helped me through many situations in my life. For example, when I received my driver’s license, God helped me get over my anxiety of driving. If I mentioned this to someone who isn’t a Christian, they may not fully understand how big of a hurdle this was for me.

4) Goal Oriented

Having a friend who’s goal oriented is so important. A friend who is passionate about their goals and dreams can help to motivate you to reach yours. 

5) Supportive

Friends should support one another. Whether your going to college, moving, or general life changes. A supportive friend is important because no matter what happens in life you can be there for each other.

6) Honest & Trustworthy

Being honest and trustworthy to go hand in hand. If a friend hurts you, you should be able to tell them. It’s best to discuss the situation in a way which doesn’t embarrass or put them down. With trust, you should be able to tell your friend something without them telling anyone else. Honesty and trust is what helps to grow a friendship.

7) Makes You Laugh

Laughing is the best. It brings out joy in a person. The best laughter is when you laugh until you cry. A friend doesn’t have to be an award winning comedian, but I think laughter does something for the soul.

These characteristics are of course not the only way to find great friends. I do think they can be a springboard to the type of people you want to allow into your life. There will be times when you won’t have positive people in your life. However, the majority of the people in your life should be those who lift you up and not tear you down. If you and your friend both have these characteristics your friendship will remain strong through difficult times.